Rabbi Donald Weber
The Debate About Sex
2012-10-01
Id: rdw58
Id: rdw58
Let’s be clear: the debate about abortion is not about abortion; it is about sex. More accurately, it is about the belief of some Christians that sex is at best a necessary evil, at worst a sin, and babies are one of the ways God punishes people for having sex. Which means that not only is abortion against this understanding of God’s will; so is contraception. As Saint Augustine, one of the most influential Christian thinkers of all time, wrote, “Intercourse even with one’s legitimate wife is unlawful and wicked where the conception of offspring is prevented.”
It is not my place to criticize another’s beliefs, or their religion, but when people hide their true agenda it is important to call them on it.
In the years since birth control became accessible and abortions became legal, I have seen an increasing sophistication in the way the abortion/contraception argument is portrayed; a sophistication which leads many people to support things they don’t actually believe. If you believe that life begins at conception and that sex should be purely for reproduction, it is your right to believe that. But I think most of the members of Temple Rodeph Torah believe differently, and if we remain silent we will lose the right to live – and to have our children and grandchildren live – as we believe is proper.
“Personhood” and “Human Life” amendments are being proposed across the country. These define a fertilized egg as a full human being, with full rights and protections. What they do not say – aloud, that is – is that a “personhood” amendment will outlaw most forms of birth control including the IUD, the “morning-after pill,” and even birth control pills. Each of these, either directly or indirectly, prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus; in other words, it causes an abortion. Do not think for a moment that the anti-choice factions are not aware of this; they know it, and once an egg gains “personhood” status it will be impossible to argue that any of these methods of birth control can remain legal. (Check it out: Google “contraception as abortion” and see what you get.)
Restricting or eliminating legal abortions is not a goal; it is a means to an end, and that end is to eliminate any positive affirmation of sexuality. If you don’t believe me, I ask you this: do you know of any anti-abortion group that favors open access to contraception? Even open access just to condoms, which are one of the few methods of birth control that prevent fertilization? If their goal was really to prevent abortions, it would make sense for them to encourage responsible contraception. But they don’t.
Judaism takes a different view of sexuality, as do many Christian denominations. Going back to a 13th Century marriage manual given to couples before their wedding, we read, “Intercourse is a holy and pure thing when done in an appropriate way, at an appropriate time and with an appropriate intention. Let no man think that in proper intercourse there is anything blameworthy or perverse… We, the children of the masters of the holy Torah, believe that God created all things according to the wisdom of His will… and if our sexual organs are a disgrace, how could it happen that God created a thing which was blemished, shameful or faulty?” (Iggeret HaKodesh, Chapter 2). This does not say that sex is always good; it can be wrong, or harmful or abusive. But we see that Judaism says sex itself can be holy and pure… a far cry from Saint Augustine!
I said earlier that I think most members of TRT believe differently from the fundamentalist, Christian position. I base that on the simple fact that no one in our congregation has more than five children, and most have fewer than that. So it is a fair assumption that most members have used birth control at some point in their lives. It is also a good assumption that we instruct our growing children about the importance of safe, intelligent sexual decisions, including the decision to use contraception if they are going to be sexually active. If we want our children and our grandchildren to have the right to these decisions, we had better start paying attention to the abortion debate going on right now.
In the early 1980’s, when Shira and I became active in the pro-choice movement, we often heard “If you’re going to have sex, you had better be ready to suffer the consequences.” We don’t hear that anymore, but not because people don’t believe it. We don’t hear it because the people who want to make sex a punishable offense have been taught that most people will rebel against this approach, and a different tactic is required. So they now speak about “protecting life,” and chip away, step by step, at women’s rights to control what happens inside their own bodies.
I wish I was joking, or even exaggerating, but I am not. Please pay attention, because if you believe that sex can be something holy and pure, it’s time to speak up. Right now, laws are being proposed on the state and federal level which will radically limit our rights. It’s time to speak – and vote – what we believe.
Rabbi Don Weber
It is not my place to criticize another’s beliefs, or their religion, but when people hide their true agenda it is important to call them on it.
In the years since birth control became accessible and abortions became legal, I have seen an increasing sophistication in the way the abortion/contraception argument is portrayed; a sophistication which leads many people to support things they don’t actually believe. If you believe that life begins at conception and that sex should be purely for reproduction, it is your right to believe that. But I think most of the members of Temple Rodeph Torah believe differently, and if we remain silent we will lose the right to live – and to have our children and grandchildren live – as we believe is proper.
“Personhood” and “Human Life” amendments are being proposed across the country. These define a fertilized egg as a full human being, with full rights and protections. What they do not say – aloud, that is – is that a “personhood” amendment will outlaw most forms of birth control including the IUD, the “morning-after pill,” and even birth control pills. Each of these, either directly or indirectly, prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus; in other words, it causes an abortion. Do not think for a moment that the anti-choice factions are not aware of this; they know it, and once an egg gains “personhood” status it will be impossible to argue that any of these methods of birth control can remain legal. (Check it out: Google “contraception as abortion” and see what you get.)
Restricting or eliminating legal abortions is not a goal; it is a means to an end, and that end is to eliminate any positive affirmation of sexuality. If you don’t believe me, I ask you this: do you know of any anti-abortion group that favors open access to contraception? Even open access just to condoms, which are one of the few methods of birth control that prevent fertilization? If their goal was really to prevent abortions, it would make sense for them to encourage responsible contraception. But they don’t.
Judaism takes a different view of sexuality, as do many Christian denominations. Going back to a 13th Century marriage manual given to couples before their wedding, we read, “Intercourse is a holy and pure thing when done in an appropriate way, at an appropriate time and with an appropriate intention. Let no man think that in proper intercourse there is anything blameworthy or perverse… We, the children of the masters of the holy Torah, believe that God created all things according to the wisdom of His will… and if our sexual organs are a disgrace, how could it happen that God created a thing which was blemished, shameful or faulty?” (Iggeret HaKodesh, Chapter 2). This does not say that sex is always good; it can be wrong, or harmful or abusive. But we see that Judaism says sex itself can be holy and pure… a far cry from Saint Augustine!
I said earlier that I think most members of TRT believe differently from the fundamentalist, Christian position. I base that on the simple fact that no one in our congregation has more than five children, and most have fewer than that. So it is a fair assumption that most members have used birth control at some point in their lives. It is also a good assumption that we instruct our growing children about the importance of safe, intelligent sexual decisions, including the decision to use contraception if they are going to be sexually active. If we want our children and our grandchildren to have the right to these decisions, we had better start paying attention to the abortion debate going on right now.
In the early 1980’s, when Shira and I became active in the pro-choice movement, we often heard “If you’re going to have sex, you had better be ready to suffer the consequences.” We don’t hear that anymore, but not because people don’t believe it. We don’t hear it because the people who want to make sex a punishable offense have been taught that most people will rebel against this approach, and a different tactic is required. So they now speak about “protecting life,” and chip away, step by step, at women’s rights to control what happens inside their own bodies.
I wish I was joking, or even exaggerating, but I am not. Please pay attention, because if you believe that sex can be something holy and pure, it’s time to speak up. Right now, laws are being proposed on the state and federal level which will radically limit our rights. It’s time to speak – and vote – what we believe.
Rabbi Don Weber